that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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