My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
