i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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