just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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