There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
