I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
