Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
