Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
