So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I feel like abortions should bother me more
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
