You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
