I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
