I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
my sisters under your porch take her home
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize