Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
