Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
