I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
