I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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