ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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