Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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