There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
