i was born a porn star she said
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize