even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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