I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
