you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
