The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize