I must be too annoying 4 u.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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