sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
