No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
