just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize