it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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