just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
