When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize