You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
