I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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