Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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