areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
