Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
