Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
