do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Farmville is her only friend.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize