I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
