I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
