I forgot how hot balto sounded
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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