i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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