no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize