I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
