All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
