DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I intend to get homeless drunk
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
