I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
