low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
