His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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