Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
