me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
They are going to name an STD after you.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
