K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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