why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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