Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
