you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
