now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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