piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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