You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
