who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
