omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Randomize
