And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
