He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize