Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
