God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Randomize