I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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