Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Dignity is for republicans.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
