Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
