I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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