i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Redeem this text for a blowjob
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
