Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
