Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
